The cast reunited, via Vulture
I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.
Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. The cast is heading to Italy to meet real Italians. We all know that this will only end in tears. At the end of this episode, we saw some previews in which Mike ended in a stretcher after Ronnie attacked him over stuff that happened last season.
This was an incredible episode. Even Sammi couldn’t fathom anyone being as idiotic as Snooki and Deanna, but they were. The HM leave for Riccione, and as soon as they arrive, Snooki and Deanna get drunk. They get really drunk and stay drunk until it’s time to leave. In between, Deanna shows off her vagina to everyone at a club, Snooki and her hook up proper, and everyone gets tired of their Meatball antics. While Jenni was whingeing about it, she still stayed to take care of them. I would have just left them alone. It all ends in tears when they get back home, as Snooki drives into a cop car and gets arrested with Deanna.
Warning: This post might offend you.
[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]
Snooki is tired of people bugging into her business. They are going to some beach. Snooki, Jenni, and Ronnie go shopping. Their 15 min break extends into the afternoon, much to Marco’s anger.
When she gets back, she phones Jionni. She says that all of her roommates say that he was mean to her yesterday. She starts naming them. Jionni says that he’s not coming over and hangs up.
They start packing. All of them overpack for a weekend. WTF.
Us meatballs, we’re short.
Deanna
The girls cold barely reach the tollbooth. They are going to Riccione. The boys check out the boardwalk. Mike meets La Situatione, his Italian doppelgänger. The girls immediately want to get drunk.
I had no idea that Italy had a Caribbean Island in it.
DeannaDo you know what a cookah is?
DeannaWish you were lesbian!
NicoleNicole and Deanna are on a whole new level of drunk right now.
Jenni
The girls go drunk shopping. They spend some money. Jenni and Sammi are getting annoyed. They try to walk away. They manage to ditch them. Sammi doesn’t want to take care of drunk people.
Snooki and Nicole hear some house music and run off. They start dancing and drinking. They run into the boys, who are all dressed up. Everyone is heading out for dinner, but Snooki and Deanna continue partying. Deanna’s cookah is hanging out again.
Snooki takes a mock-bull run at Deanna and plunges into some hedges. She keeps saying that she couldn’t stop.
Meanwhile, Jenni and Sammi had a shower.
They are so similar that it’s creepy.
Sammi
Deena is dancing off her underwear. The guys are ashamed and leave.
The Meatballs kick in their door and get ready. They arrive after the HM finish their meal.
I pissed myself.
SnookiWe’re not having Meatballs for dinner tonight.
Mike
I’m surprised the HM waited for them. Deanna can’t even speak anymore. It’s unintelligible.
WTF is going on. It’s like the Twilight Zone.
SammiJenni is like my fucking mom.
Snooki
Jenni was trying to look after Snooki, but she doesn’t appreciate it. Deanna is not wearing any underwear and she shows her privates to everyone.
All I know that Deanna needs a wax.
JenniAll that I see in the reflection of this glass is straight vagin. Straight vagina.
SammiWTF is going on. Nicole is all about Jionni and Deanna, are you lesbian?
Sammi
Nicole and Deanna start getting into it again. They start making out.
Nicole and Deanna are digesting each other’s tongues. I am so skived out.
Jenni
Both Deanna and Snooki fall down a few times. In the car, Deanna and Snooki continue making out.
They have been making out for 3 hours.
Sammi
They go to bed together.
The boys leave the next day. The girls stay in. Pauly is slightly annoyed that Ronnie keeps swacker. He keeps trying to jack his swack. Jenni and Sammi go shopping.
It smells like hot sweat and regret.
Vinny
Snooki and Deanna slept away the whole day.
I don’t remember anything after the club.
Snooki
Sam and Jenni tell the Meatballs what they did last night. Snooki is going to have an accident. Snooki drove off with the parking brake on. They make it home. They didn’t have an accident. Snooki immediately wants to call Jionni. She tells him that she made out with Deanna while they were really drunk. She says that they ended up doing stuff. Jionni is fine with it.
Snooki, Deanna, and Mike go to work the next day. Mike is working hard. Snooki and Deanna decide to hide. They sound slightly drunk. They get into some garbage cans. Deanna naturally falls over.
Right after, Snooki and Deanna decide to go to the gym. Snooki is driving. They still sound drunk. Snooki runs into a cop car. Deanna calls home. She asks Vinny to find her license. Vinny, Pauly, and Mike run out with it. The cop in the cop car doesn’t look good. He’s taken out with on a stretcher. Snooki gets an alcohol test. She blows it and they take her away in a cop car. Snooki is crying.
The previews look awesome. Looks like Jionni comes over and Snooki acts like whore, embarrasses him, and he leaves.
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Relevant Posts
- How Bad Was The Jersey Shore? Bad! Jersey Shore S01E01-02 (MTV)
- Jersey Shore S01E03 Good Riddance
- Jersey Shore S01E04 Fade to Black
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