Never Say No to Panda

World’s Fastest Lawnmower Hits Nearly 100 mph

I’ll never understand why people need to make slow stuff go really fast. If you want to go fast, you should just buy a jetcar or something like that. Then you’d be going really fast. Ah well, jetcars… They aren’t yet available for us mere mortals. Well, even if he’d like to have a jetcar, Bobby Cleveland decided to make his lawnmower go incredibly fast instead.

Read more @ Technabob

Are Facts Too Confusing? Try Fake Science

Are facts too confusing for you? Then you should try out Fake Science. It will answer all of your questions without those pesky, annoying facts that everyone keeps flaunting around.

Read more @ Technabob

Star Wars Yoga: Relaxing Yoga Poses Keep Jedi Minds Sharp and Bodies Relaxed

I had trouble believing that this was real until I saw the photos. Well, I’m half convinced. There’s no doubt that the poses do resemble vehicles and positions from Star Wars, but I have trouble seeing anyone but total Star Wars nerds – who are also into Yoga, doing these.

Read more @ Technabob

Web Browsers Illustrated

Caldwell Tanner is a cartoonist for College Humor and he made this great little cartoon comparing the different browsers to their equivalent modes of transportation.

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The BeardMe iPhone App: Do You Want The Mustache On Or Off?

This is way more fun than useful, but the BeardMe iPhone app enables you to quickly add facial hair to people who don’t have any! Imagine, no more inking in mustaches with that Sharpie pen!

Read more @ Technabob

iPad Fail: Will The iPad Jokes Ever Stop? Probably Never

I don’t know what is funnier. The actual name of the iPad or this Photoshopped image of another theoretical iPad box. When I saw this image, I had to find out more about it.

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A Former Investment Banker & Plan B

I thought that this piece on McSweeney’s was pretty funny. It’s about a failed investment banker turning to his plan B, law school.

What If Women Were As Horny As Men

Hilarious video, obviously NSFW. You’ll see a bunch of male strippers and women creaming their pants. The part of the video where the man imagines Oppositeland, where women behave like men, is really funny. The strip club was my favorite part, though the creamy pants incident on the subway was also pretty funny.

I really do objectify guys all the time. Men are delicious pieces of meat that I want to take delicious bites out of all day long. If you’re sleeping beside me? Watch out for your man parts because I’m coming for them. You’re on the subway, and you’re good-looking and you’re reading a book? I’m making my way through all these people so I can “accidentally” grab your ass. And lord help me if I ever learned of a strip club that had only men in tightie whities gallivanting around swinging their junk in my face. Lord help us all, am I right?!
Katie West
★

Top 50 Dumbest Bush Quotes

My wife was laughing about these Bush quotes for about 6 hours. She told me that it was the gift that kept on giving. I’ve never liked him as a President and by God, does he look dumb in these quotes.

Favorites include [best ones are at the bottom!]:

I couldn’t imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah.

“I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound largemouth bass in my lake.” –on his best moment in office, interview with the German newspaper Bild am Sonntag, May 7, 2006

“Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.” –in parting words to world leaders at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as those present looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008

“The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him.” –Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001

“I don’t know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don’t care. It’s not that important. It’s not our priority.” –Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on –shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” –Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 (Watch video clip)

“Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” –Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004 (Watch video clip)

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” –Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 (Watch video clip)