Blog Check-In 2006.09.06

Last blog check in before my flight to Taiwan. Some thoughts on cars and public transportation and more!

Well, another day in the trenches. I have been awake for the last 26 hours. Since last night, I was packing. What I hated the most was packing stuff from the kitchen and dishes; it took forever.

* * * * *

It’s funny how it all turns out in the end.

Here I am on my way back from Ottawa, again, having accomplished one of the last important things that I needed to do before leaving for Asia. Don’t get me wrong, dear reader my friend, I still have a lot to do before leaving tomorrow, but in all honesty, I will be leaving the country in less than 24 hours.

It’s funny being stuck without a car.

I put mine in storage for the month. At the end of that time, it will be sold to a dealer and I will be rid of it.

Funny, as much as I loved the Subie, I don’t really care about it anymore.

Here I am in a bus, in transit towards Montreal. I hadn’t remembered how relaxing these long distance bus trips are. They are very serene and peaceful. I took the time to actually read a few books, namely Stardust by Neil Gaiman. On the flight, I will be rereading American Gods and Anansi Boys by the same author. Stardust was very short, I finished it in under two hours, but I really liked it. It reminded me of The Dreaming, a world which Gaiman created for his comic The Sandman.

I still have a lot of packing to do. It never ends. But most of the stress is over now.

A few trips tomorrow morning are all that seperate from picking up my visa in… Ottawa again and coming back for my flight from PET Dorval airport in Montreal.

I find myself on this bus without any leashes. I do not have my cell phone anymore. I didn’t bring an MP3 player nor did I bring my laptop. I didn’t even have a watch and had no problems telling the time. The whole trip was relaxing. I snoozed for a few minutes but continued reading after the fatigue had passed. On the return trip, I had nothing to read, since I had already finished Stardust. So I thought about my day, what I needed to accomplish, in what manner to make sure that I will be able to leave tomorrow.

The experience was oddly liberating.

My wife has been of enormous aid. She helps me be stronger. Without her, things would have fallen apart.

My parents have been very supportive during these trying times. This last year has been most difficult for me, professionally, financially and emotionally.

My computers are all backed up. No one wanted to buy them. By the time I get back, they will be worthless. I am taking one laptop and a lot of burnt dvds. In fact, all my burnt dvds. GB and GB of data at the tips of my fingertips.

Last week, the stress was unbearable, I was frozen in fear about all the things that I still needed to accomplish before leaving. I couldn’t eat, sleep or do anything productive. I am glad I got through it. I am glad that I got through these last few months intact.

I finally feel myself reemerging from the shell of fear that has been my constant companion over the last few years.

Fear of failure.

Fear of ruin.

Fear of loosing everything that was dear to me.

But, like Frank Herbert said:

Fear is the mindkiller.

* * * * *

So it’s about 06:25 AM on the morning of our departure. All my bags are packed, all my things are arranged, all the papers are almost completed. A few little details before leaving this place for good. For the time being at least. It’s funny, we will arrive in Taipei on the 8th of September at around 5 AM. We start work at 10 AM. How brutal is that? But, I’m pretty sure that on all the flights, I will be sleeping soundly.

* * * * *

Featured Photographers in this post

Adam Clutterbuck.


Author: range

I'm mathematician/IT strategist/blogger from Canada living in Taipei.

5 thoughts on “Blog Check-In 2006.09.06”

  1. Fear is the mindkiller… Just wait ’til you hit Malaysia; the traffic-jams and reckless driving are to be feared!

  2. The take-off feeling before getting really airborne scares me witless, but it doesn’t stop me from say, going on rollercoasters. How quaint! 🙂

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