Survivor China S15E01 (CBS)

Skewed view of the Bank of China building.

The next season of survivor just started. The funny thing is that it’s taking place in China, in a remote region. I’m currently residing on the other side of the world, in Taiwan, known as the Republic of China, which China considers a wayward province.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

But I’m not going to get political now, Lord knows that I’ll have these pissy ex-pats on my back who are fervent about an independent Taiwan. I’ve always said that my opinion doesn’t count much, because I’m a foreigner living in Taiwan.

I thought that it was interesting that the choice of the teams wasn’t left up to chance, but up to the producers. Jeff is looking like the Malboro man that he is and the survivors weren’t ready once again for what they were about to face.

If I was going to go on Survivor, I would gear up with the latest survival and backpacking gear, from ultralight pants and shorts, to baselayers and shirts with some hats. I’d make sure I was wearing most of it as well, as most survivors start the show with only the clothes on their backs. From what I saw, only “Chicken” looked like he was prepared in the slightest.

Another difference was that after the first tribal council and the first eviction, the loosing team got fire immediately, the same day that the winning tribe got theirs.

The Zhang Hu team lost the challenge to the Fei Long team and thus, didn’t win immunity. Frosty is a student but he is also a parkour/freerunner, which is interesting, since he will be very athletic in the competitions. He is in Zhang Hu.

James is a grave digger and is built like a tank. He is a loner, but the women have been ogling his muscles. He is in Fei Long. Courtney is a pissy New York waitress who looks down on everybody, she is in Fei Long. Chicken is a chicken farmer, he is in Zhang Hu. Peih Gee is in Zhang Hu and is of Chinese ancestry. Ashley is a WWE Diva and is in Zhang Hu.

Fei Long accomplished a lot and built their shelter quickly. Zhang Hu struggled and didn’t do a lot, except joke around. After the first night, Ashley was sick like a dog for some reason, it was pathetic. Chicken got tired of telling his opinion and decided he wouldn’t do so anymore, which was idiotic since he knew how to construct shelters.

Jean-Robert is a professional poker player with a beer gut and is already trying to tip his hand, too early in the game in my opinion. The lunch lady has a mullet, but nobody cares. There is a gay Mormon flight attendant named Todd and a Christian fundamentalist radio host named Leslie who wouldn’t perform the Buddhist welcome ceremony.

The immunity challenge was quickly won by Fei Long. Back at camp, PG started acting all crazy and bossing people around. She painted a nice target on herself. It was obvious that either Chicken, for his recalcitrant attitude, PG for her bossiness, or Ashley for her lack of doing anything would get evicted.

In the end, Zhang Hu sent Chicken packing. When his name was read out, he said the only thing he ever said with emphasis during the show, “damn”. It’s a bit stupid to get rid of the only person who knows how to construct a shelter before the shelter is constructed, but who cares. He was interesting, but we didn’t see enough of him.

Ashley most probably stayed because of her big fake tits, which she enjoyed showing off to all of the men. Courtney looks anorexic, she’ll feel at home when they have nothing to eat because none of them knows how to hunt or fish.

Author: range

I'm mathematician/IT strategist/blogger from Canada living in Taipei.