Big Brother UK S09D89 (Channel 4)

Mikey is telling Rachel that he dreamt of cats. Mo is in the diary room. It’s his final day as HOH. He’s been a shit HOH, that’s from his own admission. He says that he’s coping OK.

If I’m shit, I’m shit.

Kat tells Rex that Mikey is freaky. Rex says that Sara is freaky. Kat says that Sara’s job is very hard and she needs to be intelligent. Rex is flabbergasted. Being a PA is easy as pie. Kat can’t do things under pressure. Rex says that being a PA isn’t a pressure job. He gives her a few examples like a pilot or stockbroker. She agrees. She’s a total git.

Lazy Mo and Darnell are in the bathroom. Darnell is complaining about the situations he put himself in. He says that he has hit rock bottom in here. Lazy Mo just burps. He doesn’t give a shit.

Sara says that she had a bad week the week before. Rex is quizzing her. He says that she said Stuart’s name. Rex says that she is getting cold sores on her lips. Sara says that she doesn’t have cold sores. Rex says that she got them from kissing Darnell. Rex is just teasing her because she won the money.

HOH Slow-Mo and Rex are in the living room. Mo is told off for letting Rex sleep. Mikey and Rachel are in the bedroom. They are playing a game. Slow-Mo is asleep. Lazy Mo denies that he was sleeping. Rex calls him a twat.

Sara tells Mikey that Slow-Mo is a bad HOH. Mikey knew that this would happen, even though he started out well. Slow-Mo says that they were sleeping. Mo wants Mikey out of the bed. Mikey stalls. Sara wants to go eat something.

BB has gathered the HM at the sofas. Kat and Sara have been called to the diary room. They are told that they haven’t been HOH. Today is Mo’s last day. In light of this, BB has decided that HM should have a feast. Rachel can’t say shit. She spells it. What a shitbag!

Sara and Kat have something to read out. For one day only Darnell, Mikey, Rachel and Rex will resume their HOH duties along Slow-Mo. Kat and Sara have to wait hand-and-foot for their leaders. They will get uniforms. Kat gets very excited because of the costumes.

It’s been one hour since Kat and Sara have been told to wait on all of the other HM. Only Kat and Sara can prepare food. As usual, Rachel can’t mind her own business. Rex is being obnoxious. Mikey is in the diary room. He wants a quiet afternoon. He’s quite happy, even though some HM have been going on about Sunday roasts and they still aren’t happy. Slow-Mo isn’t happy.

The HM decide that the HOHs have to make some speeches. Rex is being an ass. They scream at Mo that he was the worst HOH ever.

Fat-ass Greedy Mo. With his belly.

Mo says that he made Sara win the money. He’s an ass.

Sara and Kat are having fun. They are in the diary room. Rachel and Mikey are in the garden. They are worried about the spiders. Rex, Darnell and Mo are talking about the Astroturf in the garden. Darnell decides to spray some soap all over it to clean it up. Darnell uses a broom to clean it while Rachel cheers like the bitch she is. I hate her. He jumps into the pool with his mic.

Kat says that it isn’t that different from what usually happens in the house. Darnell is called to the diary room. He took his broken mic off and jumped back into the house. Kat calls out to Darnell because he was called to the diary room as a naughty boy. He is told off.

Sara is sleeping at the sofas. Most of the HM are in the bathroom. Darnell wants some fake tan sprayed on. Mo has been called to the diary room. He says that Rex embarrassed him. Rex is obviously doing it to wind him up. He’s happy to be here in the final week. For some reason, Rex is busy scrubbing Darnell’s back with a lufa.

Kat is sleeping at the sofas. Rex managed to convince Darnell to put some fake tan on his back. The boys scrub it in. He did it because Rex said that Sara would do his bum. He immediately jumped at the occasion from getting some attention from Sara. She’s a trooper and scrubbed it in. Rex wants to peer pressure her into doing Darnell’s crack. Rex whispers and tells Sara that Darnell is going to get really dark.

BB has called all of the HOHs into the diary room. Kat and Sara are in the bedroom. Kat is a bitch. I hate her. I hope she gets evicted soon. Kat says that the cameras don’t care about them in the bedroom. BB says that there won’t be a HOH anymore. Sara asks the HM what they would have done if they were asked to choose one of the HM to leave. Mo, Rex and Darnell say that they would have chosen Kat to leave. She runs to the diary room. Darnell says that there she goes. He tells her to stop being like a baby. Kat starts to cry like a little baby. Rex and Mo can’t take it. They find her ridiculous. The other HM just look on. Darnell is losing it. Kat keeps going on. He wants her to shut up. He gets up and puts on his hoodie. He gets away from her and wants to leave. He thinks that she keeps make him look like a fool. He says that he’s out and leaves. He tells BB that he wants to go. She’s a drama queen. Meanwhile, Mo is lying on the floor next to the diary room, trying to listen in. Kat squats down next to him. Mo tells Kat no to talk to Darnell. She goes to see Rex. He thinks that Darnell will come back. Kat tells him that she is scared. Rex isn’t concerned. He blames her for being a drama queen. She continues to play the fool, as always. She’s really annoying.

Rachel and Mo are in the living room. Darnell has been in the diary room for about an hour. He just wants to hang with the lads. Rex explains how Kat makes Darnell look bad to the public. Darnell goes back into the house. He tells Kat that he doesn’t want to talk to her.

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Author: range

I'm mathematician/IT strategist/blogger from Canada living in Taipei.

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