Jersey Shore Good Riddance S01E03 (MTV)

"Yo, seriously, she's like on a whole 'nother level on pickles.", via Vulture

This trashy bit of trashiness is a strange testament to Americana. I don’t really like MTV’s reality TV shows, but I sort of like this one. Why? I just want to see how bad it gets. It’s the kind of show that’s so bad that it’s kind of good, in an eerie manner.

This episode featured some girl-on-girl action in the hot tub, ’cause Snooki, in her own words:

I had a feeling where I wanted to make out with somebody, so, um, I just made out with Ryder, because all the guys like that.

Also, we had more of The Situation’s douche-bagginess, getting all upset because Sammi likes Ronnie better. And lastly, one of the original crew decided to leave or was fired, or probably both. Check it out!

Warning: This post might offend you.
[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]

One of the reasons why this show doesn’t show up on our favorites sites is because you can watch it on MTV.com for free. This is what I did tonight. You can watch it here.

Snooki sucks the juice out of a pickle. It’s excruciating to watch. The guys get all exited. I think I heard her make that comment, that she likes to such the juice out of a pickle, and all of the boys sniggered and grunted.

Snooks likes her pickles.
Pauly D

Yo seriously, she’s like on a whole ‘nother level on pickles.
Jenni

It’s funny how Jenni completely denies getting dirty with Pauly last night. Jenni’s boyfriend is coming down to see her. Pauly feels threatened but rationalizes that she’s just a ‘ho.

Alana and Elena come to visit Angelina. Angelina has trouble with her boyfriend. The guidos get all duked out for Saturday night.

Angelina meets up with her boyfriend. She gets a bad vibe. Mike breaks up with her. Angelina runs out. Snooki finds out that he is getting a divorce. She goes home. Her boyfriend tries to reach her, but Angelina ignores her.

Such a gentleman, that’s why I like you, but not like that. Not like that. I’ve experienced you already.
Sammi to The Situation

Jenni’s boyfriend told her that if she did something bad with another boy, he’s out. Jenni hasn’t told him yet about her tryst with Pauly D. She chooses not to tell him anything.

The next morning, the entire house is talking about Angelina and her married boyfriend. Angelina doesn’t go into work. She comes in an hour late. No one is covering her shift. Samson, the manager, isn’t happy. He tells Danny.

It was common courtesy for me to walk there.
Angelina

It was kind of painful watching Angelina make up excuses. “I don’t have the number”, “I don’t have a cell phone” and other golden quote were uttered in an argument with Samson, who isn’t taking any of her shit.

Danny, the boss, shows up at the house. He’s here to see Angelina. She wants to talk with him in the bathroom. He tries to talk with her but she won’t. She leaves the water running and does her make up while he rants. Danny tells her that she is packing her bags because she is fired. While she says her goodbyes, she wants everyone to beg her to stay, but they don’t. She also gets into Mike’s face. She looks very trashy, packing up her stuff in garbage bags.

The HM are happy to see her leave. She caused a lot of drama in the house which was cool to watch. Jenni tells her boyfriend on the phone that she hooked up with Pauly. He hangs up on her. She thinks that he broke up with her.

Snooki has got a new friend named Ryder. They like to be the center of attention wherever they go. The Situation is giving bad vibes to Ronnie and Sammi. Sammi is trying to include him in everything. It’s idiotic.

Sammi and Ronnie go mini-golfing. They get busy in the guest room later on. The Situation, Vinny, Pauly D, and Snooki get into the hot tub. Snooki doesn’t like all of the attention that Ryder is getting, so she makes out with her. She moves onto kissing Mike.

Mike and Pauly have trouble with the grill. This is because Pauly put in charcoal into the gas grill. Parts of it have melted. They had to use the fire extinguisher. That was idiotic.

The HM go out and Jenni makes a point to grind her privates against everyone. Ronnie and Sammi make out. Ronnie goes to dance. He is dancing with another girl. Sammi is pissed and gives her number to her cop friend. Jenni goes to see Ronnie. She tells him that he needs to check her girl. When Ronnie sees this, he doesn’t want to be with a girl like that. He just leaves. That’s probably pretty smart, as these subjects seems to be overcome with testosterone most of the time. Jenni goes after him. Snooki tells Sammi that Ron left with Jenni. She goes home to start a catfight with Jenni.

When I left Karma, I don’t even know what was going on in my head. I’m gonna fuckin’ knock a bitch UP.
Sammi

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Author: range

I'm mathematician/IT strategist/blogger from Canada living in Taipei.

52 thoughts on “Jersey Shore Good Riddance S01E03 (MTV)”

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