Fresh on the heels of the boring Twilight craze, and the well-deserved True Blood phase, CW is offering up its latest in teen dramas. Apparently, this show drew 5 million viewers its first night. That’s probably due to Twilight-hype. I can’t stand Twilight. It sucks ass. I couldn’t read the books, but read a review from Dan Bergstein on those Stephanie Meyer books. It was very entertaining. The movie kind of sucked as well.
This is the situation, as I’ve divined it using my psychic powers. The Fox network saw that Twilight was really working well. Wow, maybe vamps are cool again, said one exec. Another said, maybe not, remember Forever Knight. Then, everyone went bonkers for True Blood. The same exec said it confirmed his theory that vamps are back in, notably teen vamps, not crazy sex-addicted vamps. One exec mentioned Teen Wolf, the other slapped him on the back of the head.
So, we need to find a teen vampire series. Wait, my daughter used to read some vampire thingie called The Vampire Diaries in the 90s. Let’s pressure L. J. Smith to write some sequels as an added incentive. That will make it cool!
Warning: spoilers ahead
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Logan is back and both Damon and Stefan are after him. They aren’t the only ones, as the new boy in town, Alaric, is also a hunter. Other vampires are coming soon in order to break the vampires that were sealed in by Emily underneath the church. Now that Damon discovered this, he won’t be leaving Mystic Falls anytime soon. Elena gets into a bad accident and she meets one of the new vamps.
The show is getting less ridiculous, but I can’t really handle the romantic bits between Elena and Stefan. It’s still 100% pedophilia, as he’s almost 150 years older than she is.
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Stephen lied to Damon. He told him that he would help to bring Katherine back, but only her.
Our story starts in 1864 in Mystic Falls. Katherine was up to no good. She’s showing Damon the ropes. Katherine was in bed with Damon. Emily was her maid. Pearl comes by. She says that someone is selling Verbena induced lotion at the apothecary. It’s going to be a problem. Pearl’s daughter is Anna.
In the present, Damon wants Elena to find the journal. Anna wants to get the journal. She calls Jeremy. Ben is a new vamp. Anna turned him for this gig and this gig alone. She wants him to get close to Bonnie while she gets the journal from Jeremy.
Jeremy tells Elena that the journal is in Alaric’s hands.
Alaric is reading the journal and photocopying it. Anna is there and he hears it. He’s got an speargun modified to shoot stakes. He says that his dead wife led him here. She was killed by a vamp. Stephen wants the journal. Anna has already taken. Alaric tells him that Damon killed Isabel. Alaric saw him draining her. He disappeared. Her body also disappeared.
In the past, Pearl discovers that Katherine will turn both of the Salvatores. Pearl’s beau is Jonathan Gilbert.
Stephen and Damon’s father tells them about vampires. The plan is of killing vampires. Katherine is playing croquet with their father.
In the present, Damon is cooking for Jenna. They are waiting for Stephen. Damon wants to know if he can trust Stephen.
Damon, Elena, and Stephen talk with Jeremy about the journal. He talked about the journal to that hot weird chick Anna. When Damon leaves, Stephen shows Elena the photocopy of the journal.
At the Mystic Grill, Damon sees Anna. He recognizes her as Pearl’s daughter.
In the past, the Sheriff has been giving more and more Verbena potion to the apothecary.
In the photocopy of the journal, there is a hint to where the grimoire is hidden. It’s probably in Gilbert’s coffin or Guiseppe Salvatore’s coffin. They go to Guiseppe’s coffin and get ready to dig him up.
In the past, Katherine drinks Stephen’s blood and finds Verbena in it. His father appears and tells him to get the Sheriff.
Damon and Anna talk. She turned Logan. Damon says that he works alone. Bonnie kisses Ben and notices something funny about him. She tries to get away, but he stops her.
Stephen finds the grimoire. Damon arrives. He jumps on Elena and makes her drink his blood. Stephen relents and drops the book. Damon releases Elena.
In the past, they’ve shackled Katherine. Damon is stopped by his father. Damon blames Stephen for telling their father. Jonathan discovers that Anna’s mother Pearl is a vampire. They shoot her and chain her. Emily saves Anna. Stephen sees Emily.
Stephen goes down to get some aspirin for Elena. He hears that Anna is here. He knows her. She’s a vampire. Stephen runs up and finds Elena gone. Anna took her.
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- Dan Bergstein blogs while reading Twilight
- True Blood S02E01
- The Vampire Diaries S01E01
- The Vampire Diaries S01E02
- The Vampire Diaries S01E03
- The Vampire Diaries S01E04
- The Vampire Diaries S01E05
- The Vampire Diaries S01E06
- The Vampire Diaries S01E07
- The Vampire Diaries S01E08
- The Vampire Diaries S01E09
- The Vampire Diaries S01E10
- The Vampire Diaries S01E11
- The Vampire Diaries S01E12