The Amazing Race Huger Than Huge S16E12 (CBS)

Teams are flying to San Francisco, their final destination. They will make their way to Battery Godfrey. They half gay brothers try to skip in line. The cowboys aren’t taking it. Well, they talk a lot but don’t do anything. It’s Jordan, the gay brother who’s creating a fuss.

Dan has the brilliant idea of asking the stewardess to move him up to first class. She does so. They are 1st out of the plane. The dumb models are 2nd. The cowboys are 3rd.

They have to solve a riddle and head to Coit Tower. The half-gay brothers have got no idea where to go. They ask a guy on a bike and figure out where to go. The cowboys pass the models. Cord read a book in Shanghai about San Francisco and knows exactly where to go.

Why are we in America and no one can understand English?
Brent

The dumb models are lost and are freaking out. Actually, Brent does most of the freaking out. I kind of like Caite, she’s still a teenager. Brent is 28 and almost in his 30s so he’s got no excuse.

I want to punch you in the face.
Caite

The teams face a Roadblock. They must climb Coit Tower. Daniel climbs it while his gay brother waits.

My heart is beating so stinking fast that it will shake out of my boots.
Jet

Cord climbs the tower. Dan is already down. Teams must find the Yoda Fountain, which is in front of Lucasfilm LTD.

Teams will join forces with ILM. One team member must put on a motion capture suit. The partner will guide them through some virtual obstacles. Jet/Cord head to the Yoda Fountain.

Jordan is shit at the virtual maze. They have to start over a few times. Jet/Cord arrive. Cord is messing with Dan. It works well. It totally freezes Dan for a few minutes.

Dan/Jordan complete the maze, but the clue is being spun around the virtual room so fast that he can’t read it. Jet is dead on the clue. He’s behind Jordan, who’s stuck. Cord puts Jet forward. He’s at level two. Jordan is still spinning.

Team must now make their way to The Tonga Room. Brent/Caite arrive. They quickly catch up.

The clue is spinning around and Cord takes some time to read the clue. The cowboys leave followed closely by the dumb models. Brent forgets the money and stuff. They have to head back to ILM.

The half-gay brothers arrive. They need to transport a trunk to the San Francisco American Music Hall.

The cowboys get the trunk and get some directions. The cowboys run while the half-gay brothers take a leisurely stroll. They get to the clue 1st. To get their final clue of the race, teams must solve their last puzzle. Teams must hang psychedelic clues in the order of the eliminated teams of the Amazing Race. The half-gay brothers were smart and wrote down the information of the teams.

They complete it easily. They are going to Candlestick Park. They have trouble finding a taxi. The cowboys arrive. They cowboys aren’t what we’d call book smart, but they are streetwise smart.

The half-gay brothers finally get into a cab. The cowboys find a cab immediately. Dan/Jordan finish 1st and win the Amazing Race. The cowboys are 2nd. The dumb models finish last. There is some bad blood between the lesbians and the dumb models.

This is a first. Carol or Brandy starts bitching at Caite. She later has a little cry. The lesbians are bad losers.

* * * * *

I wasn’t ecstatic that the half-gay brothers won the race. I think that the cowboys deserved to win. Dan/Jordan rubbed me the wrong way on more than one occasion. However, they won fair and square. It’s too bad. Other than making herself look stupid by saying that she has proven that she is intelligent, I kind of like Caite. I find that Brent is the dumber one of those two. Caite is still young and she’ll grow out of being like that once she reads a bit more and meets people who aren’t hicks.

Once again, CBS was cheap. They didn’t go for a mega 2-hour finale, just a one-hour basic finale. This means that the last puzzle was pretty easy compared to previous years. I wish that CBS would throw a bit of money at the Amazing Race.

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Relevant Links

The Amazing Race S14 @ Wiki

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Relevant Posts

Author: range

I'm mathematician/IT strategist/blogger from Canada living in Taipei.

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