Big Brother UK S11E01 (Channel 4)

81 people are outside the house. Of those people, BB will choose some to go inside. Davina shows what the potential HM had to do to get shortlisted. The ID of the shortlisted HM were released to the press.

This is supposed to be the last series of BBUK. Will there be another one?

Davina gives a tour of the BBUK house. The diary room chair has got golden wings. The walls are transparent. There is a circus-theme going on. Bob Righter is an animatronic mannequin inside a glass box, kind of like you find at carnivals. Bob Righter is an anagram for Big Brother.

There is also an animatronic parrot, he’s called Davina McCall or Davina McQuack. In the bathroom, there is a chest. The chest is made out of the wood from the tree of temptation from Celebrity BBUK.

The first HM is Josie. She’s a sales rep from Bristol who likes chickens and horses. The next HM is Steven. He’s missing two legs and an eye. He looks like a war vet. He’s got two full sleeves. He was in the army for five years before he was blown up. His whole body is covered in tattoos. He’s got a black fake eye to psych people out. I like him. He’s married and has got 8 children. He goes in through a different entrance.

The next HM is Ben. He’s a writer and broadcaster. He thinks that he is posh. He’ll be easy to hate. He gets quite a few boos. The next one is Rachael. She’s a hair stylist. She fancies herself as a Beyoncé lookalike. The next HM is Nathan. He’s a joiner. He’s kind of got a unibrow. It’s 6½ inches long and he’s proud of it.

Dave is next. He’s a Christian minister. They are called the new ecstatics. Caoimhe is next. It’s pronounced Kiva. She’s a hipster student. She’s an attention seeker. She wants to make people think that she’s bi, when she’s not.

Govan is next. He’s a volunteer worker. He’s relationship virgin. In his video he says that he’s got a big willy. Shabby is next. She gets booed. She’s a film-maker. She’s called Shabby because she looks like shit all of the time. She’s gay and gets a lot of poontang. These are her words. Ife is next. She’s a professional dancer. She was given to a white family at birth. She met her mom later in life.

JJ is next. He walked right by the photographers. He’s a vehicle body builder and from Australia. Sunshine is next. She’s cute. She’s a medical student and a vegan. She likes bedazzling stuff. That’s like an 8-year old. She gets booed. Corin is next. She’s a retail assistant and would like to get fake boobs. There is problem during her VT. It looks like she fell down or something. Maybe her dress fell down. She’s very loud. That’s good. She’ll be annoying the other HM quickly.

The last HM will be chosen randomly. It’s Mario. Davina is telling him that he’s got some responsibilities. He’s got to take on an impossible task. He must enter as a mole. He must carry out some pranks. If the HM ID him as the mole, he will be immediately evicted. Otherwise, he can stay. He will receive his task from the tree of temptation. He goes in wearing a mole suit and has to sleep in a mole hole. He tells the HM that he was blindfolded and dressed up by BB.

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