I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.
Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. In tonight’s episode, the cast is reunited after making their way to MIA, which is Miami, a careful Mike explains. Sparks fly as soon as the girls realize that Angelina is here. Jenni and Snooki don’t like her. Sammi is still caught up with Ronnie. In case you didn’t know, they split up, but all in all, it looks like they were never apart.
Sammi loves Ronnie. Ronnie hates Sammie. Needless to say that they will have sex a few times this season. Ronnie is really angry about this whole thing. I love how The Situation tries to egg Angelina on to confront the bitchy behavior she keeps getting from the other girls. In the previews, we see that both Pauly and Vinny hook up with Angelina, while Vinny also hooks up with Snookie. This is after he promised his sex-obsessed uncles that he would only hook up with classy girls.
I love how aggressive Jenni gets when she’s a bit drunk and amped up. You don’t want to mess with her. In the last season, she threw a few punches, not just at girls, but at the boys, so you better watch out. Angelina is on everyone’s shit-list.
Warning: This post might offend you.
[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]
The same cast is back for a second season. The difference is that they are going to Miami. Snooki has got a gorilla juice head. She no longer goes tanning because of the taxes.
Pauly picks up The Situation.
Jwow is my bitch in the house.
I think I’m going to be like a tornado: going from place to place destroying shit.
Sammi is no longer with Ronnie. Apparently it was a mutual decision.
Break their f**king balls about the double-baggers they bring home.
As in one bag for the girl’s face, and another for yourself, in case that her bag slips up.
Both Escalades are trying to get to the house 1st to get the rooms. Pauly hooked up with Angelina in LA. She’s going to the house.
The Situation and Pauly D get stuck in the mud. What a bunch of idiots. It was to light some fireworks. The AAA truck gets stuck in the mud.
Snooki and Jwow stop at a deserted bar. Snooki has some fried pickles. She loves them. A creeper hits on them.
Ronnie is taking the plane. The HM don’t know that Angelina is coming. Sammi also takes the plane.
Pauly and The Situation arrive 1st. They get their rooms first. Slutty Angelina arrives next. The boys were surprised. She wants to sleep in their room. Sammi arrives next. She doesn’t like Angelina.
Vinny arrives next. Vinny doesn’t get along with Angelina. Ronnie comes in next. Sammi is nervous about seeing Ronnie. She still loves him.
Going crazy, walling out, hook up with girls, dancing, and pretty much outdoing The Situation.
My bronzer is leaking off my face.
Jwow and Snooki arrive. Jenni tells Angelina that she wants to be roommates. Snooki feels the same. The Situation tells Angelina that she needs to handle the situation. He’s kind of egging her on. Sammi starts to bitch about her to Snooki and Jenni.
Angelina jumps into the hot tub. It rubs Sammi the wrong way. The HM get ready to go out. Pauly has got a lot of new tattoos. Sammi still wants to be with Ron, but Ron doesn’t want to be with her.
Angelina starts to talk and the girls start to get aggressive. Jenni is really in her face. The girls are loud and swearing a lot. The boys smartly took a different cab. They are quiet. Nothing is happening. Sammi leaves the cab. So do Jenni and Snooki. The boys don’t know what happened. They all arrived at the club.
Ronnie and Sammi are arguing again. Ronnie is angry with her. He lets it out. Ronnie calls Sammi a c**t. Vinny thought that he was out of order. I agree. Vinny goes with him. Vinny tells him to let it go.
Ronnie goes into creep mode. Angelina is with the boys.
I love single Ronnie.
Ronnie is at the club hooking up with grenades, larger ugly girls, and landmines, thin ugly chick, loving life.
His name is Ronnie, but you can probably call him Sloppy Joe.
Back at the house, Snooks tells Sammi that Ron still has feelings for her. Sammi says that she just wants to be with Ronnie. Meanwhile, Ronnie is kissing two girls at the same time.
Uh, it hurts my vagina. No, I like it.
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- How Bad Was The Jersey Shore? Bad!
Jersey Shore S01E01-02 (MTV)
- Jersey Shore S01E03 Good Riddance
- Jersey Shore S01E04 Fade to Black
- Jersey Shore S01E05 Just Another Day At The Shore
- Jersey Shore S01E06 Boardwalk Blowouts
- Jersey Shore S01E07 What Happens In AC
- Jersey Shore S01E08 One Shot
- Jersey Shore S01E09