I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.
Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. In tonight’s episode, sparks fly as Ronnie and Sammi hook up and fight once again. Ronnie admits to loving Sammi. Meanwhile, Angelina gets super-drunk and cock-blocks The Situation and Pauly D, who don’t take kindly to her cock-blocking ways.
The boys are eating up all the drama that the girls are creating. Basically, it’s because Angelina talked shit about Jenni, Sammi, and Schnookums in Jersey, so they are very annoyed that she’s here. Naturally, Angelina denies this. Once again, Jenni gets extremely aggressive. I wonder when she’s start hitting Angelina. Angelina better be careful, because Jenni is a strong girl, as The Situation learned last week.
Warning: This post might offend you.
[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]
Ronnie is feeding a steaming Alpo to Sam on a plate ‘cause he’s dogging her so much.
Ronnie, he’s the president of the I double F. He’s dogging his girl everyday, who is supposedly loves. Sam, you’re getting punked.
Emilio tells Snooks to go f*ck herself. She called him before going to bed.
Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don’t know how to deal with women, and I feel that’s why the lesbian rate is going up in this country.
Jenni and Snooki talk with Sammi. It’s Sammi who does the talking. She knows that something is up. They don’t really tell her.
Meanwhile, Ronnie is hooking up with girls.
They tell her to ask Angelina. She’s the only girl who goes out with the boys. Emilio calls back. He screwed a girl tonight. He then says that he was messing with her. Nicole tells him to go f*ck himself.
Jenni messes with a drunk Emilio. I really like Jenni. She rips Emilio a new one. The girls destroy some plates.
The boys come home. They find the plates destroyed. It’s 6AM. Ronnie doesn’t come to Sammi’s bed. Ronnie calls her a bitch. Sammi says that it’s over. Jenni is kind of smiling.
Enough is enough, you’re just beating a dead horse. If the horse is dead, you better leave it alone.
The next day, Sammi goes out with the girls. Ange tells the girls that Pauly, Vinny, and Mike talking to girls. Ange doesn’t tell the truth. Jenni is cringing.
Mike is cooking and drops the sauce. This is the 2nd time that someone messes up Sunday dinner. A gallon of milk hits Mike in the face.
Angelina has got diarrhea of the mouth.
After this, the HM play a game of questions. Ron says that everyone has cheated before.
Mike tells Ron that it’s only a matter of time before Sam puts two and two together.
You need to give up your cookie so that you can have another one. I’m eating chocolate chip cookies every night son.
You need to be on your tip top game, with your GTL, to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA. Say that five times.
Ange, Jenni, and Snooks go out for dinner. Jenni concocts a plan to air stuff out. Jenni plans on typing out an anonymous letter.
-I farted… Oups
-We’re on a whole new level of friendship.
Ange and Snooks
Ron and Sam have a little tiff. The HM go to a club.
We’re going to the club and ah guess what? Ron and Sam fight. How much can you fight? Every day.
Ron kind of dumps her at the club. Sammi leaves with the girls. The boys leave and leave Ron all alone. The girls follow. Sammi goes back to see Ron. Jenni and Snooks go with her. Ron drives off in a cab and leaves Sam there.
-I didn’t do anything to the kid.
-You didn’t do anything to the kid all week.
Sam and Jenni
I hate you so much because I love you.
Ronnie to Sam
Ronnie is totally messed up. Sammi takes care of him. She takes him home. He sleeps it off.
This kid is so off the wall right now, he doesn’t know who he is.
Sammi about Ron
All of a sudden, Ron has got to get up and go to the bathroom. My man is puking up a storm. This shit is pouring out non-stop like the Exorcist.
Your pants are making me nauseous.
Ron to Sam
He spoons, I fork.
All day, Pauly and Vinny flirt with the girls at the gelato shop. They are having fun. A few grenades give them their numbers.
Jenni and Snooki write the anonymous letter.
Ange and Sammi go out. Sammi uses the opportunity to grill her about what Ron did. She put Ange on the spot.
The boys try to their laundry at night, but the Laundromat is closed.
Ange tells Jenni and Snooki that Sammi grilled her about Ron. What the heck do these girls think that is going to happen when Sammi gets the letter?
I think that it would be in Angelina’s best interest not to tell who wrote the letter, because I would probably do physical damage towards Angelina and explain to everyone that Angelina told us about what Ron did at the club.
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- How Bad Was The Jersey Shore? Bad!
Jersey Shore S01E01-02 (MTV)
- Jersey Shore S01E03 Good Riddance
- Jersey Shore S01E04 Fade to Black
- Jersey Shore S01E05 Just Another Day At The Shore
- Jersey Shore S01E06 Boardwalk Blowouts
- Jersey Shore S01E07 What Happens In AC
- Jersey Shore S01E08 One Shot
- Jersey Shore S01E09
- Jersey Shore S02E01
- Jersey Shore S02E02
- Jersey Shore S02E03