I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.
Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. In tonight’s episode, sparks fly as Ronnie and Sammi hook up and fight once again. Ronnie admits to loving Sammi. Meanwhile, Angelina gets super-drunk and cock-blocks The Situation and Pauly D, who don’t take kindly to her cock-blocking ways.
The boys are eating up all the drama that the girls are creating. Basically, it’s because Angelina talked shit about Jenni, Sammi, and Schnookums in Jersey, so they are very annoyed that she’s here. Naturally, Angelina denies this. Once again, Jenni gets extremely aggressive. I wonder when she’s start hitting Angelina. Angelina better be careful, because Jenni is a strong girl, as The Situation learned last week.
Warning: This post might offend you.
[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]
The HM go on a road trip into the everglades. They see some alligators.
Bugs in the everglades are huge, they’re about the size of Snooki.
Jenni hates frogs and the HM are eating fried frogs. She goes to have a little puke in the bathroom. Mike scares her a bit with some frog remainders. On their way back, Mike pops out and pukes his guts out.
Paul calls his girl Rocio. Vinny wants to see Ramona. It’s the last date before they leave for Jersey. Vinny makes reservations for 8, but Ramona is late as usual. She calls at 8:10 and says that she’s almost ready. She’s 45 minutes late, but looks good. They go out for dinner. He’s saying goodbye to her. It looks like they had an early night of sorts. They don’t make plans for a long distance relationship. Rocio goes out with Pauly. Rocio wants to have a long distance relationship. Pauly says that he’ll be back soon. Ronnie and Sammi are out too and it’s pretty awkward. Sammi’s Mr. Hyde comes out, or that’s what Sammi says. They start arguing and break up again, or something like that.
Mike, Pauly, and Vinny are waiting for Sam and Ronnie. Snooki says that they are fighting. The HM go out. They go to Bed. Sammi continues to argue with Ron. Sammi finally apologizes and they make up. Pauly snogs a girl. A few girls are all over Vinny. Two girls want to have a threesome with him.
Sometimes you mix two grenades that might make one good-looking girl.
I was definitely thinking about Ramona when these hos were all over me. Say no to hos.
Naturally, when Vinny says no, Mike picks up his sloppy seconds. It’s pathetic. 3 minutes later, he’s in the bathroom with the two girls.
Jenni is cleaning the fridge out the next day. She throws out two bags of food that was rotting in the fridge.
Mike is a pot stirrer, definitely yes. He likes to stir it and then take a nap, that’s what he does.
Sammi comes in with a condescending manner and helps Snooki to cook. Snook sees through her. Sam is being a bitch. It sends Snooki outside. She mopes with Jenni. Jenni tells her not to worry about it.
At dinner, Mike tries to stir the pot again. He mentions that Ron was getting busy in the first two weeks. He also tells the girls who did the least in the house.
Mike is a lunatic and causes a lot of issues in this house on purpose.
Most likely to get skin cancer, that’s a good one. I think I have to nominate myself.
Mike causes some more trouble with Vinny. He calls him fake and a follower. Jenni tells Mike that he’s the fakest one in the house. After Jenni leaves, Mike says that the fakest in the house is Jenni. Apparently people were agreeing to this. She mentions Pauly and Vinny. Jenni confronts Mike. Jenni says that Pauly squealed on him to Snooki. He confronts Pauly. They start arguing and shouting. Sammi finds it funny. Pauly isn’t letting it go. He doesn’t like that they blame him for their shit. He starts shouting at Snooki for causing shit. Pauly is getting extremely angry. The girls are playing with their heads.
Pauly called it out. Mike liked how angry he got and defended himself. When the dust settles, Snooki is pissed with Jenni. Shit stirring will always bit you in the ass in the end. Snooki wants to go home. She starts packing.
Vinny tells Jenni that he didn’t say anything. Snooki keeps going on about it.
Nobody nodded. I don’t even like the girl and I nodded.
This is good TV.
Mike grabs Snooks and brings her back. He tells her that everything is cool.
The next morning, the HM pack and get ready to leave.
Sam/Ron leave first. Sammi didn’t say goodbye to Jenni. Vinny leaves. Jenni and Snooki leave. Pauly and Mike leave.
I don’t know why the producers used these fake retro shots of Miami for the helicopter shots. Miami usually looks glorious in the sun, just take a look at CSI Miami. These shots make Miami look like crap.
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- How Bad Was The Jersey Shore? Bad! Jersey Shore S01E01-02 (MTV)
- Jersey Shore S01E03 Good Riddance
- Jersey Shore S01E04 Fade to Black
- Jersey Shore S01E05 Just Another Day At The Shore
- Jersey Shore S01E06 Boardwalk Blowouts
- Jersey Shore S01E07 What Happens In AC
- Jersey Shore S01E08 One Shot
- Jersey Shore S01E09
- Jersey Shore S02E01
- Jersey Shore S02E02
- Jersey Shore S02E03
- Jersey Shore S02E04
- Jersey Shore S02E05
- Jersey Shore S02E06
- Jersey Shore S02E07
- Jersey Shore S02E08
- Jersey Shore S02E09
- Jersey Shore S02E10
- Jersey Shore S02E11
- Jersey Shore S02E12