I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.
Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. In tonight’s episode, sparks fly as Ronnie and Sammi hook up and fight once again. Ronnie admits to loving Sammi. Meanwhile, Angelina gets super-drunk and cock-blocks The Situation and Pauly D, who don’t take kindly to her cock-blocking ways.
The boys are eating up all the drama that the girls are creating. Basically, it’s because Angelina talked shit about Jenni, Sammi, and Schnookums in Jersey, so they are very annoyed that she’s here. Naturally, Angelina denies this. Once again, Jenni gets extremely aggressive. I wonder when she’s start hitting Angelina. Angelina better be careful, because Jenni is a strong girl, as The Situation learned last week.
Warning: This post might offend you.
[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]
Mike is trying to bully the HM into leaving. Snooki doesn’t want to leave. She’s with her BFF Ryder. He slapped Snooki in the face.
Vinny and Ramona get busy in his bed. She’s DTF.
The next day, Mike apologizes to Snooki. Ramona leaves. Vinny likes her a lot.
-You’re in love?
-Nah, I don’t believe in that.
Sam and Vinny
Ryder leaves. There is a lot of crying between Jenni and Snooki. Whatever. They need to grow up and leave their mama’s nest.
He’s like my big brother, I love him. But usually I don’t have sex with your big brother.
Snooki about Vinny
Snooki and Jenni want to go to Space.
Jenni looks like a whore, like the ultimate stripper.
Everyone is having fun, but Nicole starts a fight or something. Mike gets involved and they get kicked out of the club. They have been there for an hour. Pauly was pretty quick and grabbed two girls on his way out. Sitch and Pauly go home to screw.
For some reason, Mike and Pauly don’t get it in because Mike didn’t take one for the team. He ruins it for Pauly. Mike was being rude.
You’re cockblocking for the whole world right now.
Both girls leave.
I brought these two girls to the crib because they were DTF. Even one wasn’t as DTF as the other, I knew I could make it work with either one. Mine happened to be 100% DTF. I could have got it in, but didn’t get it in because Mike let his situation get the best of him.
I need somebody that knows how to take one for the team, or entertain a grenade, or even decipher the bomb. It’s a war out there.
The next day, Vinny and Pauly go out to the beach with their girls. Pauly tells Vinny that he needed him. Pauly says that he got rejected by the girl, so he made it look like she was a grenade. Meanwhile, Mike is talking about this with Jenni. He tells her all about the grenade.
Pauly and Vinny were all wife’d up. They both had their little wifeys there.
Sammi and Ron go to hang out with Pauly, Vinny, and their wifeys.
Back at the house, Mike sets fire to the house with a greasy pan. The fire department arrives. Jenni thinks that the fireman are hot.
One was tall, ya know, tan, and he looked Italian. I would have smushed that.
We all know how Snook’s coockah looks like.
You look Asian, I like it.
Ron to Sam
Ron’s off-hand comment makes Sammi upset because his ex was Asian. She makes a big deal about it. She’s crying. Snooki tries to make her feel better. Ron comes to talk with her and tells her that she’s been nothing but negative with him.
We spotted two blondes and they were from Canadia.
Sam and Ron get into it again. It’s always a big drama with them. Ron thinks that she starts 99% of the fights.
Jenni starts a hook-up board.
Me and Jenni wanted to do the hook-up board. If you hooked up with this person, then you could have possibly hooked up with this person by swapping the spit.
Spit’s been crossed.
I’m a whore, hello?
Mike parks the Escalade like a wanker and it finally gets towed.
Mike is crazy. Explain a rule to him, he just can’t follow it.
You want a situation, walk it off bitch.
Yeah I got a situation sir.
Mike calls the number and is told that he has to pay $175. They try to walk there, but are totally clueless.
This is like the guido-version of the Amazing Race.
MVP head out for the night at Tantra. Ramona works there as a go-go girl. Pauly makes out with a Canadian who’s DTF. Mike decides to go DTF.
Me and Pauly are quick on the trigger. As soon as we find somebody that’s somewhat good-looking, and the DTF meter is up, we gonna pull the trigger and say hey girl, you coming home tonight. And they gonna say yes. We say you DTF. She gonna say yes. We going to go right now.
Mike and Pauly go home with some girls. While they are hanging out with the girls, Vinny is with Ramona. The guys go hunting for PJs for the girls. Both of the boys spray their privates. One of them says that she’s got a boyfriend. They quickly leave because of Mike again.
One their way out, Mike’s girl calls him a douchebag.
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- How Bad Was The Jersey Shore? Bad! Jersey Shore S01E01-02 (MTV)
- Jersey Shore S01E03 Good Riddance
- Jersey Shore S01E04 Fade to Black
- Jersey Shore S01E05 Just Another Day At The Shore
- Jersey Shore S01E06 Boardwalk Blowouts
- Jersey Shore S01E07 What Happens In AC
- Jersey Shore S01E08 One Shot
- Jersey Shore S01E09
- Jersey Shore S02E01
- Jersey Shore S02E02
- Jersey Shore S02E03
- Jersey Shore S02E04
- Jersey Shore S02E05
- Jersey Shore S02E06
- Jersey Shore S02E07
- Jersey Shore S02E08
- Jersey Shore S02E09
- Jersey Shore S02E10
- Jersey Shore S02E11