Jersey Shore Free Snooki S03E04 (MTV)

Deena and Snooki, via Vulture

I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.

Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. In tonight’s episode, sparks fly as Ronnie and Sammi hook up and fight once again. Ronnie admits to loving Sammi. Meanwhile, Angelina gets super-drunk and cock-blocks The Situation and Pauly D, who don’t take kindly to her cock-blocking ways.

The crew is back and the shit hits the fan almost immediately between Jenni, Snooki, and Sam. Ron is up to his misogynist ways as he screams at the new HM. Meanwhile, Mike is able to get Deena naked on the 1st day, within hours of arriving. Strangely, he’s not ready to tap that yet.

Warning: This post might offend you.

[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]

Jenni calls Tom. He’s pissed off and starts yelling so Jenni hangs up. They repeat this a few times. Jenni gets a call from the police station to pick up Snooki. They bring her home. She calls her dad. He says that he’s disappointed in her.

It’s kind of a disease to Snook for love. It’s worse than a staph infection.

MVP go to Bamboo with Deena. Deena is getting more action than the boys. Pauly likes having her around. Deena picks up a Ronnie-lookalike. They bring him home. Ronnie knows his stunt double Dean. His girlfriend’s name is Sam too. Fake Ron goes into the hot tub with Deena. Pauly and Vinny joke about sending Sammi an anonymous letter. The next day, Sammi tells Deena that Dean has a girlfriend.

The next night, they go to Karma. Jenni sees Roger again. Lauren is there as well. It turns out that Roger was dating Heather. Jenni flirts and hangs out with him. They go home and Tom calls Jenni. Ron thinks that Jenni is being shady because she’s hanging out with Roger and then talking with Tom. Tom knows something is up. Jenni is planning on leaving Tom.

The next day she calls Roger. He wants to meet up with her. Tom calls. Jenni is hedging her bets with both Roger and Tom.

Vinny and Pauly pull out the flipcams to cheers Snooki up. Even Danny is trying to cheer her up. Pauly tells Jenni that she should make herself happy. Jenni calls Roger and he brings over iced coffees and a guido. Danny finds them chillaxing and comes looking for them.

Jenni and Snooki go out on a double date with Roger and his friend. They sleep over. Jenni didn’t have sex.

Tom calls and Jenni tells him that she’s been hanging out with Roger. She doesn’t like being treated like shit. She tells him off, shouts at him, and hangs up saying that she’s done with him.

Jenni calls her dad and finds out that Tom is moving out. Jenni is worried about her dogs. Jenni has to drive there with Snooki. She’s locked out of her house. I don’t understand. Why doesn’t she have the keys? She finds them somewhere. Her dogs are fine and her bed is gone, her watch is gone, and her hard drive is gone. He wiped everything out. It looks like he took some of her money from PayPal as well.

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Author: range

I'm mathematician/IT strategist/blogger from Canada living in Taipei.

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