I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.
Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. The cast is heading to Italy to meet real Italians. We all know that this will only end in tears. At the end of this episode, we saw some previews in which Mike ended in a stretcher after Ronnie attacked him over stuff that happened last season.
Even though they are idiotic at times, they are entertaining to watch. Apparently Brittany has a twin and she might be DTF, that’s what Mike thinks but the whole situation goes awry pretty quickly when both Deena and Vinny pull robberies, while Ron sabotages Mike’s game, just like he did with him in Jersey and Miami.
Warning: This post might offend you.
[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]
Britney is one of the most DTF chicks I’ve met.
After calling a cab for Britney, Mike is scared by the pigeons. Snooki and Ronnie go to work out.
You’re asking me? I get lost in a paper bag.
It’s almost like Schnouk and me are alike right now. We’re dedicated to working out. We’re dedicated to drinking and having a good time.
Snooki needs to wear glasses, but she doesn’t because she says that she’ll look ugly.
Wine in Italy for me is legit like a cup of coffee for normal people.
Snooki wants Ron and Sam to get back together. She says that they both want to. Deena and Sam are at another café. Deena is trying to pick up some dudes.
The HM go out. Mike says that Britney’s twin sister will come as well.
Deena was hubbying it up in the club tonight.
Deena’s waiter from the café shows up. His name is Ellis, and Deena spends the night Jersey turnipiking him and making out with him. They are at a club called Central.
Wait. Is Firenze Florence?
Erica and Britney show up. He tells everyone that they are his backup plan. He plans on taking both of them home.
Mike calls the twins for his double booty call. Deena brought Ellis back home. Both Pauly and Vinny make it awkward, especially Vinny. He keeps going on about it. Deena goes out and tells them off. All of the shouting makes Ellis want to go home. Ellis stays for a while, but then sneaks out.
Ron and Paul hang up on Brittany. She keeps calling for Mike. Ron has enough and pretends he’s the Situation. He decides to “prank” him. He tells her to come over with her sister in an hour.
The stalker twins.
Pauly and Ron go out. the twins arrive.
Why are they here, it’s daytime?
Mike goes with the flow and gets ready. Snooki and Mike are confused. Ron, Jenny, Vinny, and Pauly are laughing. Ron goes to talk with Mike.
Erica says that she’s a virgin. Ron and Sam go out for dinner. She wants to be with him and tells him as much. Ronnie says that he loves her and that they’ll give it a shot. She says that they should start over. Sammi looks pretty happy. She’s crying. It’s cute, but will it end in even more tears?
When Ron gets ready, both Paul and Vinny guess that he’s back with Sam because he’s wearing a black v-neck, which is conservative in their opinion. Pauly and Vinny are plain going on a mini foosball table. He changes shirts.
The Stalker Twins arrive at the club.
The Situation adapted to handle all types of crazy things.
Snooki tries to set up a threesome. When they try to leave, Deena comes over and takes Erica away. She ends up French-kissing her.
This is a full-blown, lesbianus experience right now.
Deena pulled a robbery hardcore.
My whole menagerie went awry.
I’m a little upset, but not too upset because I still have one twin.
Deena and Erica continue to make out in the cab.
Deena is being lesbianic tonight.
I don’t think I would date a girl because I really, really like penis.
Ron tells Sam that Snooki cheated on Jionni with Mike.
Erica starts talking with Vinny. Shen ends up making out with Vinny. It looks like she won’t be a virgin for long.
Deena comes in and says no. She does another robbery.
I was mid-hook up with her. Even if I pulled a robbery, you don’t pull a double-robbery. Erica isn’t wearing any panties.
I’m back in the situation.
Snooki and Mike are talking about the situation. Jenny comes and tells her that Ron told everyone about her and the Situation. It’s another situation. No, she actually tells Snooki that Mike told everyone that they hooked up with details. Snooki starts shouting at Mike. She doesn’t want to be friends with him. They argue about the dates when they hooked up.
Mike, you’re a fucking douchebag and I hate you.
For once, there is no drama with me and it feels fucking amazing.
They argue a lot and it’s loud. Meanwhile, Deena and Erica are hooking up. Deena stops. Then, Erica goes over to Vinny again. She ends up screwing Vinny (maybe, well she wasn’t wearing any panties).
Snooki says that Mike was frustrated that she didn’t hook up with him a few months ago. Ron tells Snooki to tell Jionni about this right now. It will mess her up in the long run if she doesn’t.
Brittany is tired of waiting and comes out of the smash room. She’s tired of waiting and wants some action. Mike goes with her.
It looks like shit will hit the fan next week. The big confrontation between Mike and Ron will happen then and Mike ends up in the hospital.
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- How Bad Was The Jersey Shore? Bad! Jersey Shore S01E01-02 (MTV)
- Jersey Shore S01E03 Good Riddance
- Jersey Shore S01E04 Fade to Black
- Jersey Shore S01E05 Just Another Day At The Shore
- Jersey Shore S01E06 Boardwalk Blowouts
- Jersey Shore S01E07 What Happens In AC
- Jersey Shore S01E08 One Shot
- Jersey Shore S01E09
- Jersey Shore S02E01
- Jersey Shore S02E02
- Jersey Shore S02E03
- Jersey Shore S02E04
- Jersey Shore S02E05
- Jersey Shore S02E06
- Jersey Shore S02E07
- Jersey Shore S02E08
- Jersey Shore S02E09
- Jersey Shore S02E10
- Jersey Shore S02E11
- Jersey Shore S02E12
- Jersey Shore S02E13
- Jersey Shore S03E01
- Jersey Shore S03E02
- Jersey Shore S03E03
- Jersey Shore S03E04
- Jersey Shore S03E05
- Jersey Shore S03E06
- Jersey Shore S03E07
- Jersey Shore S03E08
- Jersey Shore S03E09
- Jersey Shore S03E10
- Jersey Shore S03E11
- Jersey Shore S03E12
- Jersey Shore S03E13
- Jersey Shore S04E01
- Jersey Shore S04E02