Jersey Shore Crime and Punishment S04E04 (MTV)

The cast reunited, via Vulture

I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.

Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. The cast is heading to Italy to meet real Italians. We all know that this will only end in tears. At the end of this episode, we saw some previews in which Mike ended in a stretcher after Ronnie attacked him over stuff that happened last season.

Even though they are idiotic at times, they are entertaining to watch. The producers are really drawing out the footage they have. We’re only a few days in, yet we’re already at episode 4. Still, a lot of this stuff is pretty good. The main thing is the neolithic confrontation between Mike and Ronnie, that has been building up ever since Miami. Ronnie is a juice-head and he’s got anger problems (as they all do), but it just boils over. It’s another he-said she-said type of affair, but Mike ends up in the hospital and Ronnie in jail (?). Anyway, we’ll see the real action next episode.

Warning: This post might offend you.

[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]

Brittany is going home. Erica is still sleeping it off with Vinny. After she leaves, Vinny tells everything what happened with Deena to Ronnie.

It wasn’t a good tag-team.
Vinny

Ronnie tells Snooks and Sam. The whole house knows. The boys go out to eat. The girls do the same thing. Snooki doesn’t want to talk to Mike anymore.

Vinny got your sloppy seconds.
Snooki

When you’re drunk it’s fun.
Snooki

I had a lesbianic experience.
Snooki

Jenni buys a big floppy hat. Great, now I don’t have to see her face anymore!

Snooki calls Jionni and tells him what Mike was up to. He’s fine with it. The girls get dressed up with big floppy hats.

They looked like the Kentucky Derby fucked the Easter bunny.
Mike

The Sunday dinner is awkward, but Mike puts it out there. Deena clears the air and says that she likes boys.

Deena has got a criminal record of cockblocking.
Mike

Mike and Deena get into it. It ends on a sour note. The girls aren’t talking much.

Pauly and Vinny decide to put Deena’s bed in the living room. Deena starts to cry and has an anxiety attack. Jenny tries to mend fences. This is going to end in more tears. Pauly gets really animated and loud. He says that Deena changed. Before, Deena could take their jokes and wasn’t emotional. Now, she is. She didn’t used to hook up with girls either. It looks like Deena is playing up to the cameras, this might be why Pauly is so angry about this. Deena’s crying calms Paul down. Vinny and Pauly tell her that the joke was harsh and they like her. That’s nice. Pauly puts a couch on her bed as a joke. She’s laughing now.

Pauly, Deena and Snooki go to work. Pauly passes out some flyers.

Yeah buddy!
Pauly

Pauly is good at his job and he has fun. The girls are stuck inside and moping.

Ronnie is talking to Hannah. Jenni hears it. She talks with him about it. It’s obvious that Hannah is Ron’s backup plan.

For a lark, Snooki and Deena try to fit inside a trash bag. They do. The boss doesn’t find it funny. Snooki decides to get a bit of wine. Snooki gets a customer to buy them a bottle. Marco catches them and he’s not happy. Pauly get pooped on by a bird.

Jenni and Ronnie are shopping. Ronnie buy some stuff for Sam. She is very happy and smiles a lot.

Bring your clothes and your penis.
Snooki

We should get a dildo made.
Jenni

Jenni and Snooki go out for dinner. Jenni messes with a waiter. Jenni asks Snooki about the Hannah situation. Snooki tells her that she should let it be.

Ronnie and Sam go out for a romantic dinner. It’s not going to last apparently.

-Are we going to get it on tonight?
-Winning!
Sam and Ron

The HM go out to another club. It’s called Yab. Sam gets annoyed that Ron is dancing and some girl is dancing near him. Ron and Sam are talking about the incident. They are both drunk and it looks bad. Ron leaves.

Mike gets a girl as does Pauly. The HM come home and Vinny pushes Ronnie’s buttons. Pauly’s girl cockblocks him and Mike. Mike calls Brittany. Mike tells both Sam and Ronnie that they both love each other. At the end of the day, that’s what they should remember. Sammi blurts out what Mike told her about Ron. Ron gets pumped up. He takes off his stuff. He goes to see Mike. Ron starts getting violent. He moves the sofa. Pauly hears this. Pauly goes back to bed.

Ron goes to get Sam and makes her say what Mike told her. Now Ron goes back and throws Mike’s mattress out. Mike starts shouting. There’s drool coming out of his mouth. Ron grabs him and they start fighting.

* * * * *

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Author: range

I'm mathematician/IT strategist/blogger from Canada living in Taipei.

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