I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.
Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. The cast is heading to Italy to meet real Italians. We all know that this will only end in tears. At the end of this episode, we saw some previews in which Mike ended in a stretcher after Ronnie attacked him over stuff that happened last season.
Even though they are idiotic at times, they are entertaining to watch. Mike is still moping around and even has a little cry. For some reason, Ron-Ron has matured and it trying his best to make his HM feel better. He does this with Snooki and Mike. He also makes up with Sam (again).
Warning: This post might offend you.
[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]
Mike is still hurting. Ron comes and tells Sammi that he loves her no matter what. Mike phones his sister Melissa. He kind of mopes around and tells her he wants to go home. The boys make fun of him. It’s well deserved.
The gang do GTL. They split up along gender lines. Snooki told Ron that she no longer wants any fights. Jenni says that Mike had no injuries from Ron. They were all self-inflicted.
Ron has a talk with Mike. Ron tries to make him feel better. Mike says that he is hurt and can’t do anything for himself. Ron tells him that he should come to the gym with them. He takes off his neck brace.
The girls go shopping.
It smells like pig butt.
Snooki is pissed off at a priest who tells her to cover up when she walks near a church. Snooki calls Jionni. She makes a lewd comment, and Jionni starts getting annoyed.
I want to suck your butt.
Ron tells her that Jionni is acting like a dick. He tells her not to change herself for someone else.
Deena does Pauly’s hair. Without anything in it, his hair looks pretty bad. She makes him a faux hawk. It makes Pauly and Vinny dress up as ‘real guidos’.
No one knows more about Guido toolbags than us.
All we need is FPC. Fistpumps, pushups, and chapstick.
Vinny and Pauly
You’re like every guy I dated right now.
Ron and Sammi talk. Sammi is really pissed up. The other HM are hearing this in the living room.
You did me fucking dirty.
Vinny comes in and asks them to keep the fighting away from them. Ron says that they were talking not yelling.
Ron and Pauly go out for lunch. They talk about Snooki and Jionni. Jenni knows about this situation.
Mike tries to apologize to Snooki about betraying her trust. He doesn’t say the right words. Snooki calls him out on this. Mike messes it up again.
The HM go out. Sam and Ron make out on the dance floor. Ron starts dancing crazily on the dance floor. He hurts his knee. Jenni, Deena, and Snooki meet a lot of ‘bitchy’ girls. Deena gets drenched by a girl’s drink. She goes mental and goes after her. Snooki gets in there too. Snooki fights Deena. Vinny has to intervene. It ends in laughs.
Snooki comes home and calls Jionni. She’s drunk and swears at the operator. He thinks that Snooki hooked up with someone. Ron doesn’t like hearing this and talks to him, or at least tries to. He continues to bitch at Snooki. Ron was being pretty nice.
Jenni and Sammi think that they need to help Snooki. Deena calls Elis. She wants him to come over. Ellis is the waiter. It takes them a while to answer the door. It’s 4AM. It doesn’t take long for Deena to fall over and break something. She cuts herself. Ellis has got a hickey. Ellis says that it was his sister. Deena sends him home shortly after.
Jenni calls Roger. He’s coming over in less than a week. Jionni is coming in a few days as well. Jenni doesn’t think that she deserves this. Ron, Jenni, Sammi, and Ron go out to have a bite. They think that they need to stage an intervention.
Snooki says that she doesn’t remember much about last night. Jenni and Sammi start talking about Jionni. Ron also gets involved. Nicole says that she’s cool right now.
I’m just addicted to my boyfriend’s penis.
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- How Bad Was The Jersey Shore? Bad! Jersey Shore S01E01-02 (MTV)
- Jersey Shore S01E03 Good Riddance
- Jersey Shore S01E04 Fade to Black
- Jersey Shore S01E05 Just Another Day At The Shore
- Jersey Shore S01E06 Boardwalk Blowouts
- Jersey Shore S01E07 What Happens In AC
- Jersey Shore S01E08 One Shot
- Jersey Shore S01E09
- Jersey Shore S02E01
- Jersey Shore S02E02
- Jersey Shore S02E03
- Jersey Shore S02E04
- Jersey Shore S02E05
- Jersey Shore S02E06
- Jersey Shore S02E07
- Jersey Shore S02E08
- Jersey Shore S02E09
- Jersey Shore S02E10
- Jersey Shore S02E11
- Jersey Shore S02E12
- Jersey Shore S02E13
- Jersey Shore S03E01
- Jersey Shore S03E02
- Jersey Shore S03E03
- Jersey Shore S03E04
- Jersey Shore S03E05
- Jersey Shore S03E06
- Jersey Shore S03E07
- Jersey Shore S03E08
- Jersey Shore S03E09
- Jersey Shore S03E10
- Jersey Shore S03E11
- Jersey Shore S03E12
- Jersey Shore S03E13
- Jersey Shore S04E01
- Jersey Shore S04E02
- Jersey Shore S04E03
- Jersey Shore S04E04
- Jersey Shore S04E05