Jersey Shore Situation Problems S04E11 (MTV)

The cast reunited, via Vulture

I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.

Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. The cast is heading to Italy to meet real Italians. We all know that this will only end in tears. You knew exactly where this was heading, ever since the last episode, we all saw that Snooki and Deanna are totally out of control. Much to Jenni’s dismay, who always has to pick up the pieces. This time around, Jionni is involved. From what we’ve seen of him or heard of him, it looks like he’s a lot more traditional than Nicole, something that she has yet to fathom or understand.

Snooki is now broken up with Jionni and goes on a rampage with her fellow meatball Deena. Jenni and Sammi are tired of being the moms, so they let them do their thing alone. It doesn’t end well. Deena wants to smush Pauly, but he doesn’t like meatballs. Mike is losing it and acting like a dick. All of the HM have got enough of him and no one wants to share a room with him.

Warning: This post might offend you.

[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]

Snooki is still on the phone with Jionni.

It sounds like the whole house is sick. Pauly’s nose is bleeding.

Me and Pauly should do sex.

Pauly says that he needs to bring home a girl so that he doesn’t have to smush Deena.

Pauly doesn’t like meatballs.

Listen, I am a good fuck.

I miss penis.

Deena and Snooki go out. They go to some club and make fools of themselves.

Pauly uses Mike’s toothbrush to clean the two clippers. He brushes his teeth and didn’t even notice.

It’s the HM last Saturday night in Italy.

Is my vagina out?
Nicole to Jenni

Jenni and Sam decide not to be moms to Snooki and Deena. Mike is acting like an idiot. The crowd at the club is chanting stuff at Mike. Apparently it was ‘piece of shit’.

Mike only acts like a tough guy when bouncers are around.

Jenni and Sam go to bed. The meatballs go to another club. Some dudes harass them. Then a barman throws ice cubes at them. That was the wrong move to make. Nicole starts smashing up some bottles. They get thrown out. They come back to the house angry and drunk.

I feel like I’m in a Snoopi episode.

Nicole and Deena are so insane right now.

The meatballs go into the hot tub. Deena pees in it. After a while, they decide to go back out. It’s 7:30AM. They look like hookers. They crash and burn in some café. They get kicked out again. They are so drunk that they can’t even get into their beds.

Ron starts a fire on the grill, so Ron and Sammi go grocery shopping.

Mike is a dick to Deena so she throws a spatula at him.

We’re both bitches.
Sam about her and Jenni

Jenni and Sam cook Sunday dinner. The HM start arguing about the house back in Jersey. It sounds like Vinny is being a little bitch.

We’re not like that, we’re drama-free.
Vinny about himself and Pauly vs Mike

No one wants to be in a room with Mike. Ron and Sammi don’t want to. Nicole and Deena don’t want to either. Nicole tells this to Mike. Mike says that he probably won’t go to the house in Jersey.

Deena tells Mike that she doesn’t consider him a friend. Nicole tells him that he’s a dickhead. No one wants to be around Mike. Ron and Sammi think that they don’t want to be in the same room as Mike because they fight because of him.

Sammi apologizes to Vinny. She says that she can’t live with Mike, and Vinny says that he’s got his own issues with him. Vinny tells some of the HM that Mike either needs to leave or change.

Pauly and Vinny pretend that they are sleeping in the same bed.

The next day, Mike locks himself in a bathroom. Deena just leaves him. She gets Ron. Ron almost takes off the door off the door jam. He gets out.

Mike goes to the bar and gets into a situation. The other HM just ignore his antics. None of the boys back him up. He leaves.

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Author: range

I'm mathematician/IT strategist/blogger from Canada living in Taipei.

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