Tag: humor

  • What If Women Were As Horny As Men

    Hilarious video, obviously NSFW. You’ll see a bunch of male strippers and women creaming their pants. The part of the video where the man imagines Oppositeland, where women behave like men, is really funny. The strip club was my favorite part, though the creamy pants incident on the subway was also pretty funny. I really […]

  • Top 50 Dumbest Bush Quotes

    My wife was laughing about these Bush quotes for about 6 hours. She told me that it was the gift that kept on giving. I’ve never liked him as a President and by God, does he look dumb in these quotes. Favorites include [best ones are at the bottom!]: I couldn’t imagine somebody like Osama […]

  • Litterbox on FMyLife

    Today, I was at my boyfriend’s house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn’t working, so I peed in his cat’s litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML *

  • Bigger Pitbull on FMyLife

    Today, it was my next-door neighbor’s birthday. Over the past year, his pitbull has attacked my stepdad several times and put some stiches on me. Lucky for us, the dog was finally put down. For his birthday my neighbor got a new, bigger, pitbull. FML *

  • Naughtyshirt on FMyLife

    Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read “My mom’s easy i’m living proof.” Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML *

  • My Gay BF on FMyLife

    Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend at the mall, kissing another man. His partner got up and went to the bathroom, so I went up to my ex. I told him I didn’t know he was gay, and he just smiled politely. Then his partner came out and I recognized him as my current boyfriend. FML […]

  • Prejudice on FMyLife

    Today, I walked into the building where I was to start my new job, proud of myself for being a well-educated Latina. As I entered the room, the receptionist took one look at me and said, “You must be the new janitor. I’ll send someone to get your uniform.” I’m a lawyer. FML *

  • Idiot Wolverine on FMyLife

    Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, “Who am I?” He then replied with, “An idiot.” FML *

  • Puke on FMyLife

    Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my […]

  • Irritated Penis on FMyLife

    Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either prevent malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I’m stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don’t want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML *