Bianca & Men & Sex @ McSweeney’s

It’s like a starving person sitting down to a Big Mac and fries and smearing the food all over his face. How can you want something so badly and perform it so poorly?

And you can’t touch them directly because they have twice as many nerve endings as your entire package has. That hurts. Not pulling and no biting, you sick freaks.

It usually means they want to paw at me, lick my entire face when they kiss me, bite and yank any nerve dense area of my body and watch me fall into Bacchae-esque throes of ecstasy.

Bianca & Ziploc for Smurfs

She poured some powder out of a tiny plastic envelope. Where do you buy those tiny bags anyway? I mean the ones that look like Ziplocs for Smurfs. Is there a coke dealer supply store out in the suburbs somewhere? Next to Michaels and Best Buy?
Bianco, the covert escort with a day job @ McSweeney’s

Bianca the Covert Escort

Another column from Bianca over at McSweeney’s. I really enjoyed this one. There are a few interesting quotes in it that I selected. The most poignant one is when she talks about her accumulated student debt.

One expectation I encounter to the point of exhaustion is the idea that I’ve gone through some secret hooker sex training to make myself and my partner swing from the chandelier, so to speak. Clients expect me to have some special prostitute ESP that lets me read their minds when they communicate nothing of their wants and desires.

My job is essentially waiting for eight hours in what I call the Internet Depository. I kill time idly for approximately 7.5 hours and change the spacing on bullet points for the remaining half hour. My team is myself and seven unfriendly computer programmers.

If I am out on a call until 2 am, I can come into work the next day and be a complete zombie and no one will notice. It’s a boring job that pays poorly and I’m doing better than most of my peers to have it.

But I was also going to walk out of the condo $200 richer, $200 against my debt. Anyone in debt knows how it controls your life. It’s the abusive boyfriend who never lets you forget he still lives a 20-minute drive away. Until you actually eradicate it, you’ll never be truly free.

More Belle de Jour/Brooke Magnanti Interviews

Here are 2 more interviews with famous sex blogger Belle de Jour, who revealed herself as a research scientist named Brooke Magnanti. One from the New Scientist and one from Freakonomics.

From what I read last week, it appears that she only outed herself because the Daily Mail was going to bust her. She got wind of the interview and decided to upstage them. So basically, it didn’t come as a choice, the choice was made for her.

Both interviews don’t reveal much more than what was circulated in the UK papers.

American Girl Selling Off Her Virginity

In a piece of idiotic news, a recent Sacramento State grad is selling off her virginity to pay for grad school. She’s received an offer for $250,000. Won’t look good to the admissions committee. (via rob)