Jersey Shore Hurricane Situation S05E01 (MTV)

The cast reunited, via Vulture

I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.

Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. As surprised as I was to see another episode of Jersey Shore, it was all good once it started rolling. It kind of looks like the second part of the last season, as they went directly from the airport to the house in Jersey.

Warning: This post might offend you.

[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]

Continue reading “Jersey Shore Hurricane Situation S05E01 (MTV)”

Memorable Moments in Misfits S03E02

Misfits intertitle, via Wikipedia

Curtis as Melissa learning that he’s shit in bed.

Alisha imitating Curtis when they were having non-touching sex.

I had some trouble with my aim.
Curtis as Melissa, trying to fill up a vial for a drugs test

I can already see what is going to happen. Curtis just made love to his female friend Emma as a girl. She showed “her” what she likes. Curtis-as-Melissa will use this information the next time he has sex with her and she’ll discover that he’s the she.

Rudy throwing up into a girl’s hoodie, while she’s turned away from him. She doesn’t notice but obviously she will at some point.

Curtis-as-Melissa having a freak out and then realizing that he’s having a period.

Jersey Shore Ciao Italia S04E12 (MTV)

The cast reunited, via Vulture

I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.

Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. The cast is heading to Italy to meet real Italians. We all know that this will only end in tears. You knew exactly where this was heading. The Meatball train is leaving Italy. Mike feels alienated, and none of the HM really care much about this. He’s been a dick for the longest amount of time and it’s finally come to bite him in the ass. He threatened not to come to Jersey, but when none of the HM reacted or asked him to come, he said that he would come to Jersey.

Snooki and Deena truly made fools of themselves. I’m surprised at how many times they showed their privates to the camera while they were in clubs. Still, it’s kind of sad that we have to wait until next year to get another Jersey Shore season.

Warning: This post might offend you.

[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]

Continue reading “Jersey Shore Ciao Italia S04E12 (MTV)”

Jersey Shore Situation Problems S04E11 (MTV)

The cast reunited, via Vulture

I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.

Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. The cast is heading to Italy to meet real Italians. We all know that this will only end in tears. You knew exactly where this was heading, ever since the last episode, we all saw that Snooki and Deanna are totally out of control. Much to Jenni’s dismay, who always has to pick up the pieces. This time around, Jionni is involved. From what we’ve seen of him or heard of him, it looks like he’s a lot more traditional than Nicole, something that she has yet to fathom or understand.

Snooki is now broken up with Jionni and goes on a rampage with her fellow meatball Deena. Jenni and Sammi are tired of being the moms, so they let them do their thing alone. It doesn’t end well. Deena wants to smush Pauly, but he doesn’t like meatballs. Mike is losing it and acting like a dick. All of the HM have got enough of him and no one wants to share a room with him.

Warning: This post might offend you.

[Ed. note: I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]

Continue reading “Jersey Shore Situation Problems S04E11 (MTV)”

Dyslexic Six-Year Old Mexicans in Just For the Record

Was this written by a dyslexic six-year old Mexican? If not, have you considered hiring one for the rewrite?
Wilson Barnes in Just For The Record

Assorted US Crime Show Quotes

Without the storms, we’d have no rainbows.
Page in Saving Grace S03E17

You four are like an incompetence machine!
The Chief to Shawn, Gus, and the 2 retired coppers in Psych S05E06

Nothing undermines your way of life more than the taking of it.
Comissioner Reagen in BlueBloods S01E11

You’re like a devourer of dreams. You’re like a little pacman in cargo pants.
Danno to Steve, Hawaii Five-0, S01E17

It’s like a danger cupcake with murder icing.
Hardisson in Leverage S04E01

The Fast & the Furious Quotes

He’s like gravity. People are just pulled towards him.
Jordana Brewster as Mia

I live my life a quarter mile at a time, nothing else matters. Not the mortgage, not the store, not the team and their bullshit. For those ten seconds or less… I’m free.
Dom in The Fast & The Furious

Necessary Roughness Quotes

The road code.
What happens on the road stays on the road.
Necessary Roughness S01E07

Because jail time is anytime.
Nico Necessary Roughness S01E07

Bored to Death Quotes

His father was a child psychologist, and made him sleep in a box. It aged him prematurely.
Richard Antrem Bored to Death S02E02

I don’t understand why he’s having an affair with his ex-wife. That’s like wasting a divorce.
Ray in Bored to Death S02E02

A Few UK Crime Drama Quotes

Litton is a little lying bastard weasel boy, trust me.
Gene Hunt in Ashes to Ashes S03E05

I’ll say this for tragedy: clears the mind like an acid bath.
Sam, father of a murdered child in Inspector Lynley S06E01

We’re police officers. The law doesn’t apply to us.
Jack in Vexed S01E02

In those days, my morality was fluid
Lucas North Spooks S09E07

Betrayal is a cancer, let it eat your soul.
Harry Pierce Spooks S09E07

An cultural archetype, a dream figure from the mass unconscious.
Grace in Waking the Dead S09E04