Fresh on the heels of the boring Twilight craze, and the well-deserved True Blood phase, CW is offering up its latest in teen dramas. Apparently, this show drew 5 million viewers its first night. That’s probably due to Twilight-hype. I can’t stand Twilight. It sucks ass. I couldn’t read the books, but read a review from Dan Bergstein on those Stephanie Meyer books. It was very entertaining. The movie kind of sucked as well.
This is the situation, as I’ve divined it using my psychic powers. The Fox network saw that Twilight was really working well. Wow, maybe vamps are cool again, said one exec. Another said, maybe not, remember Forever Knight. Then, everyone went bonkers for True Blood. The same exec said it confirmed his theory that vamps are back in, notably teen vamps, not crazy sex-addicted vamps. One exec mentioned Teen Wolf, the other slapped him on the back of the head.
So, we need to find a teen vampire series. Wait, my daughter used to read some vampire thingie called The Vampire Diaries in the 90s. Let’s pressure L. J. Smith to write some sequels as an added incentive. That will make it cool!
Warning: spoilers ahead
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Logan is back and both Damon and Stefan are after him. They aren’t the only ones, as the new boy in town, Alaric, is also a hunter. Other vampires are coming soon in order to break the vampires that were sealed in by Emily underneath the church. Now that Damon discovered this, he won’t be leaving Mystic Falls anytime soon. Elena gets into a bad accident and she meets one of the new vamps.
The show is getting less ridiculous, but I can’t really handle the romantic bits between Elena and Stefan. It’s still 100% pedophilia, as he’s almost 150 years older than she is.
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The vampires are getting used to what they missed. They are acclimating. Annabelle is heading out of town with her anachronistic mom. There is a grumpy vamp named Roderick. For some reason, Caroline wants to double date with Elena. It’s a stupid idea.
Pearl goes to see Damon. She’s stronger than Damon. She’s giving Damon a bunch of orders. She wants to take back Mystic Falls. She says that she can find Katherine. She wants information on the founder’s council. He’s going to be her little minion. She pierces his eyes to let him know that she’s serious. She’s 400 years old and a lot more powerful than he is.
Jeremy is researching vamps.
Pearl wants to rent her apothecary back. Jenna is the owner. Jenna runs into Kelly and Damon at the local bar. They are at the same bar that Stephan is at with Elena, Matt, and Caroline.
Frederic goes out. Anna comes to see Jeremy.
Frederic is at the Grill and calls Elena Katherine. She tells Stephan, but the dude is gone. They back to Stephan’s place. Stephan shows Matt his vintage Porsche.
On her way home, Jenna runs into Frederic. He wants to know more about Damon. Jenna is immune to his charms because she is using Verbena.
Jeremy knows that Anna is a vampire. He cuts himself on purpose to tempt her. She turns and he tells her to drink from him.
Damon brings Kelly home.
Pearl is a super-control freak. She is pissed that Annabelle went out for a few hours alone.
Frederic and his friend come after the Salvatores. They manage to fight them off. Damon didn’t tell him about Pearl.
Frederic comes back with his tail between his legs. He gets stabbed for his disobedience.
Anna comes to see Jeremy. He tells her that he wants her to turn him into a vampire.
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- Dan Bergstein blogs while reading Twilight
- True Blood S02E01
- The Vampire Diaries S01E01
- The Vampire Diaries S01E02
- The Vampire Diaries S01E03
- The Vampire Diaries S01E04
- The Vampire Diaries S01E05
- The Vampire Diaries S01E06
- The Vampire Diaries S01E07
- The Vampire Diaries S01E08
- The Vampire Diaries S01E09
- The Vampire Diaries S01E10
- The Vampire Diaries S01E11
- The Vampire Diaries S01E12
- The Vampire Diaries S01E13
- The Vampire Diaries S01E14
- The Vampire Diaries S01E15