The Vampire Diaries Bloodlines S01E11 (Fox)

The Vampire Diaries logo on CW, image via wikipedia
The Vampire Diaries logo on CW, image via wikipedia

Fresh on the heels of the boring Twilight craze, and the well-deserved True Blood phase, CW is offering up its latest in teen dramas. Apparently, this show drew 5 million viewers its first night. That’s probably due to Twilight-hype. I can’t stand Twilight. It sucks ass. I couldn’t read the books, but read a review from Dan Bergstein on those Stephanie Meyer books. It was very entertaining. The movie kind of sucked as well.

This is the situation, as I’ve divined it using my psychic powers. The Fox network saw that Twilight was really working well. Wow, maybe vamps are cool again, said one exec. Another said, maybe not, remember Forever Knight. Then, everyone went bonkers for True Blood. The same exec said it confirmed his theory that vamps are back in, notably teen vamps, not crazy sex-addicted vamps. One exec mentioned Teen Wolf, the other slapped him on the back of the head.

So, we need to find a teen vampire series. Wait, my daughter used to read some vampire thingie called The Vampire Diaries in the 90s. Let’s pressure L. J. Smith to write some sequels as an added incentive. That will make it cool!

Warning: spoilers ahead

* * * * *

Logan is back and both Damon and Stefan are after him. They aren’t the only ones, as the new boy in town, Alaric, is also a hunter. Other vampires are coming soon in order to break the vampires that were sealed in by Emily underneath the church. Now that Damon discovered this, he won’t be leaving Mystic Falls anytime soon. Elena gets into a bad accident and she meets one of the new vamps.

The show is getting less ridiculous, but I can’t really handle the romantic bits between Elena and Stefan. It’s still 100% pedophilia, as he’s almost 150 years older than she is.

* * * * *

Stephen is calling Elena. She is fleeing after she saw the photo of Katherine. One the way home, she sees a person on the road. She is speeding and has a big accident. The person is a vampire and puts himself together again. He comes after Elena. When she screams, it runs off. It ran off because Damon just arrived. He gets her out of the car. She faints. Damon has to carry her away.

We see the memories of Alaric, the vampire hunter/teacher. He’s in bed with Miranda Kerr. Looks like she’s dead.

Elena wakes up in Damon’s car. They’re in Georgia. Damon doesn’t know whom she hit. Damon has her phone. It rings. It’s Stephen. Elena doesn’t want to talk to him. It also looks like Damon took her Verbena necklace and left it on Stephen’s desk. She’s no longer immune to compelling.

Damon wants to show her something and take a wee bit of time out.

Stephen wants Bonnie to create a connection spell with Elena. He wants to make sure she’s OK. Bonnie can’t do anything. Her grams tells her that she is blocked. Bonnie heads out to the tomb and tries to make shit levitate. Someone is around. She falls into a hole. She’s banged up. She’s in some kind of chamber.

Damon has brought her to a bar. He towed her car on the side of the road. They meet some girl who’s a witch. Elena calls Jenna. Damon talks with the witch. She says that without the crystal, he can’t get Katherine out of her tomb. Emily’s spell was absolute. Stephen calls, but Elena kinda just hangs up. The vampire pedo doesn’t know what to do. The witch named Bree calls someone in secret.

Damon and Elena eat. He says that as long as he has a lot of blood, he’s fine.

Jeremy meets Anna, who’s probably a vamp. She lures him with the promise of a journal from the Civil War. He’s been researching an extra credit paper he’s writing for Alaric’s class.

Stephen goes to see Sheila, Bonnie’s grandma. Sheila is creepy. She knows what Stephen is and tells him to take care of Bonnie. He knows where she is. Stephen finds Bonnie. He gets her out. She tells him that she heard them behind the door. Stephen says that they’ve probably desiccated after all that time.

It looks like Bree called a hunter to get Damon. The hunter gets Elena, when she stepped out for a phone call from Jenna. The dude is another vampire and goes at Damon when he comes looking for Elena. The guy says that Damon killed his girlfriend. He’s Lexi’s boyfriend. He’s about to torch Damon but Elena stops him with some crap about Lexi. He turned to be with her forever.

Stephen brings back Bonnie. He actually met Sheila in 1969.

Damon comes to say goodbye to Bree. Bree says that it will be in Emily’s grimoire, the way to get the tomb open. He reaches into her chest and pulls out her heart.

Elena comes to see Stephen. She says that she can’t forgive his lie. He met her the day that her parents died. He got her out of the car. He couldn’t save the rest of the family. Elena wants to know why she looks like Katherine. Elena was adopted. Jenna confirms that Elena was adopted.

Anna comes to see Jeremy with “proof” of vampires. There have been numerous deaths attributed to animals. All were attacked and drained of blood.

Alaric’s wife Isabel was killed by Damon. He’s here for revenge.

* * * * *

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Author: range

I'm mathematician/IT strategist/blogger from Canada living in Taipei.

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