The Vampire Diaries Unpleasantville S01E12 (CW)

The Vampire Diaries logo on CW, image via wikipedia
The Vampire Diaries logo on CW, image via wikipedia

Fresh on the heels of the boring Twilight craze, and the well-deserved True Blood phase, CW is offering up its latest in teen dramas. Apparently, this show drew 5 million viewers its first night. That’s probably due to Twilight-hype. I can’t stand Twilight. It sucks ass. I couldn’t read the books, but read a review from Dan Bergstein on those Stephanie Meyer books. It was very entertaining. The movie kind of sucked as well.

This is the situation, as I’ve divined it using my psychic powers. The Fox network saw that Twilight was really working well. Wow, maybe vamps are cool again, said one exec. Another said, maybe not, remember Forever Knight. Then, everyone went bonkers for True Blood. The same exec said it confirmed his theory that vamps are back in, notably teen vamps, not crazy sex-addicted vamps. One exec mentioned Teen Wolf, the other slapped him on the back of the head.

So, we need to find a teen vampire series. Wait, my daughter used to read some vampire thingie called The Vampire Diaries in the 90s. Let’s pressure L. J. Smith to write some sequels as an added incentive. That will make it cool!

Warning: spoilers ahead

* * * * *

Logan is back and both Damon and Stefan are after him. They aren’t the only ones, as the new boy in town, Alaric, is also a hunter. Other vampires are coming soon in order to break the vampires that were sealed in by Emily underneath the church. Now that Damon discovered this, he won’t be leaving Mystic Falls anytime soon. Elena gets into a bad accident and she meets one of the new vamps.

The show is getting less ridiculous, but I can’t really handle the romantic bits between Elena and Stefan. It’s still 100% pedophilia, as he’s almost 150 years older than she is.

* * * * *

Elena wants to know about the thing she hit in her car. Stephen brought some Verbena for all of the family. The vamp in question delivers pizza and gets an invite thanks to Jeremy.

Elena gives the Verbena to her family and friends. Caroline is going out with Matt. Matt has to find a job at the Mystic Grill. Damon tries to get close to Bonnie, but an old football star comes to her aid. Damon needs to find Emily’s journal. Jeremy gets an A on his paper and Alaric asks for his ancestor’s journal. It has a first-hand account of what happened in Mystic Falls.

The predator vamp calls Elena to taunt her a bit. Stephen gives her the compass pocketwatch. It detects vamps.

Anna approaches Jeremy again. He’s not interested. I wonder why? Vampirella? Stephen gives Damon their father’s journal. He was looking for it.

While Elena is getting ready for the dance, the compass goes all crazy. A vamp is near! She calls Stephen. Damon answers. The vamp is glued to her ceiling. It attacks her. Stephen arrives just in time to stop him. He flees. Stephen and Damon talk with her. Damon wants to get it tonight. It has been invited into Elena’s house. There’s no telling when it will come next.

Jenna tells Elena that her mom was 16 and named Isabel. Is it Alaric’s wife, who Damon killed? Probably.

It’s the night of the dance. The vamp is in the audience. Anna appears at the dance.

Caroline’s conceited attitude towards Ben, Bonnie’s crush, lands her in hot water with Matt, who’s also a bus boy.

This from the girl who has been eye-stalking the bartender.
Caroline

Anna starts acting all freaky around him about the journal. Her eyes change. She’s a vamp all right. There’s something in that journal. Anna and the other vamp are looking for the journal. They are also old. They know the Salvatores. The vamp says says that Elena looks like Katherine. The journal must have some info on how to unlock the tomb.

Stephen sees the vamp and goes after him. It was just a decoy. The vamp calls Elena. He stalker-calls her and wants her to leave or he’ll kill her brother. The Salvatores corner him easily enough. Stephen stakes him and the vamp talks. He tells them to check Jonathan Gilbert’s journal to find the grimoire. He won’t talk anymore so Stephen stakes him through the heart.

Damon interrogates Alaric, but he doesn’t know that he was grasping Verbena. He knew how to lie to Damon. The vamp was obviously another one of Katherine’s childes.

Alaric walks Jenna home. He mentions his dead wife Isabel from Virginia. Jenna’s curiosity is piqued.

Matt and Cara make up and kiss.

Anna is waiting for Ben, who’s also a vamp. Noah is dead. Ben says that the witch is totally crushing on him.

* * * * *

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